For some time now, you’ve heard me go on and on about my latest book project — the official biography of Bernie Worrell, The Wizard of WOO.

In fact, the plan was to have the book out in late April to accompany the latest Bernie album, Wave from the WOOniverse, which was released on April 20.

Well, it’s July, you say. So where is the book?

Well, there’s no short answer to that question. But here’s the deal …

It seems like the closer I got to wrapping the project up, the farther away I’d wind up from actually doing it. I’m in the midst of the most trying literary experience of my music journalism life.

Where to begin?

Hurdle #1 — Who the Hell Are You?

As I wrote, I began the arduous task of attempting to secure a literary agent. Said agent would give the book a chance to achieve a more “commercial” release with a larger publishing house. Major publishers won’t give authors the time of day without representation.

The search for an agent is an exercise in constant rejection. You get to hear a lot of no, assuming you get an answer at all. I’ve heard more than my fair share of negative responses. Why? What I heard most is, “We don’t know who Bernie Worrell is and we don’t know who you are.” Hurtful, but it’s hard to argue with. My freelance writing efforts with Record Collector and Prog magazines haven’t put me firmly in the spotlight just yet. Still, this does precious little for the psyche.

I have a couple of Hail Mary passes in the air looking for a miracle catch, but I’m not holding my breath. Chances are, I’ll be headed to yet another small publishing house or using Kindle KDP with little to no media support and/or publicity.* It sucks, but what can I do?

Hurdle #2 — Adventures in AI

I completed the book’s first draft a couple of months ago. Basking in triumph, I knew it was time to do a thorough editing job. While my manuscript is relatively short, I knew it would still be time-consuming to go back in and go through everything line by line and page by page. So, I decided to let technology handle some work for me.

I took my first swing at using artificial intelligence for editing purposes. (I would NEVER use it for major writing projects, including these writings.) After a quick tutorial, I set about letting my computer take over.

The results were, to put it mildly, a disaster.

I asked the AI to correct spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure where it was needed. Instead, the AI decided to rewrite major portions of my narrative. To make matters worse, I found out about one of the biggest rewrites after sending a portion of the manuscript to the Worrell estate. I had to endure a gentle but firm ass-chewing. Since the AI decided to take over, it created facts that never happened and quotes that were never spoken. The estate was not happy. That was twenty of the most uncomfortable minutes of my life.

The human editor of my first book is unavailable. I don’t really trust anyone else with my work, which means I’m on my own. Now I’m doing the very line-by-line, page-by-page work I was trying to avoid in the first place! You’ll pardon me if I take my sweet time before heading back down the AI road again.

Hurdle #3 — The Lawyers

From the day I was commissioned, one of the primary goals of the book was to work toward getting justice for Bernie in more ways than just musically. Another great injustice needed to be rectified. ^

When I was told what had happened by the Worrell estate, I listened carefully, but took things with a grain of salt. A quarter of a century in law enforcement will do that. One person’s injustice might simply be a case of sour grapes to more objective people.

Here’s the thing —

I conducted at least two dozen interviews toward this book’s narrative. Each and every person I spoke to brought up the same injustice.

What’s funny about that is I NEVER ASKED ANY OF THEM ABOUT IT! It just came up organically. A variation on the same theme again and again and again. So, as the saying goes, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

I’ve written the book like a music fan, which is far more enjoyable than an academic approach. But I wrote this particular section like a detective conducting an investigation. I had a crime, a victim, a suspect, and witnesses. All I needed was evidence.

I watched documentaries, bought and read books, scoured the internet for documents (amazing what you can find in cyberspace), and listened to what people who were there had to say.

Simply put, I made my case. I had everything I needed to secure a conviction.

I even reached out to the suspect for an interview and a chance to set the record straight. I offered the suspect’s people access to my records and interview transcripts, assuring them that I would add nothing speculative and I wouldn’t put words in anyone’s mouth. I also explained that I had permission from the estate to pursue this matter. I did everything short of reading my suspect his Miranda rights.

It took eleven minutes for the suspect’s people to turn me down. So be it. After all, I didn’t need a confession. I just wanted it.

The point is, I could back up every single word I wrote for this chapter. All of it. When I turned the chapter over to the estate for approval, I was informed that they would need to run the chapter past their attorneys. No problem, I said. Do what you need to do. I’ll make sure to have all my notes and recordings ready for review.

Shortly after, I received an email saying that I would need to make some small changes to avoid interfering with a pending court case. Okay, no problem. I made the changes and resubmitted the chapter.

Then, the roof caved in.

I received another email. This one said the chapter would need to be eliminated altogether. The possibility of a defamation lawsuit lingered, I was told. Bring it on, I replied. I can back up everything I wrote, including statements from the suspect.

My argument went nowhere, and now one of the most crucial aspects of the book — that which would set it apart from other standard biographies — is gone. It was a major selling point. It was the kind of thing that could and should get the attention of an agent. (I failed to mention this part in earlier agent pitches. That’s on me.) And while I believe my writing is good, this was the kind of writing that could take me to the next level. It’s the kind of writing that, put in front of the right set of eyes, could enhance my new “career” in multiple ways.

Alas, no. My soul was crushed. Which leads us to …

Hurdle #4 — The Shutdown

I don’t hide the fact that I’ve been struggling with depression since my military days in the early nineties. The symptoms present themselves like a cycle. Once a month for three or four days, my mood deflates and I struggle to get things done. Then I recover and move on. So, when another cycle kicked in around late December, I didn’t give it a lot of worry. Plus, I’ve had the same amazing therapist for more than ten years.

There was just one problem: the cycle wouldn’t let up.

I would spend days either stuck in bed or lying on my couch. Days became weeks and weeks became months. This was bad.

In addition to book struggles (ever try to write while completely depressed? It ain’t easy, and what I managed to write was crap), one of my closest friends let me down in a big way. It was difficult to handle. In the end, I had to let the friend go. It was a difficult, but necessary decision. And I know I’m better off for it. Still, my heart was broken.

There were other issues, large and small, piling on and driving me deeper into the doldrums. An issue with my medication also came to light, and I found myself dealing with one of the worst possible side effects. Let’s just say I learned where “rock bottom” is and I was hovering just above it.+ The lawyer issue was the last straw. I completely shut down.

Fortunately, the ship is being righted and things are improving. I’m feeling better every day, and an incredibly long writing drought appears to be coming to an end. I hope.

This book experience has been … a lot. I’ve learned a lot about the important aspects of commissioned work and the pitfalls that come with it. Suffice to say, my approach will be different next time.

So, where does this leave us?

While I’m certainly not at Square One — far from it — some rebooting has become necessary. Starting with myself. I need to be in the right mindset to move this and other planned projects ahead properly. It’s been a long struggle, but I’m finally starting to feel like myself. My presence here has been nonexistent for months. I’m hoping this is the beginning of changing that.

For the time being, I’m going to go ahead and use Kindle to get the book out there, hopefully by the end of summer. It’s not what I want. It’s not what Bernie deserves. But it’s what’s available, and I have to accept that.

I’ve often talked to people about the importance of being open to change, because it’s life’s only constant. Being able to roll with the punches and keep moving forward is one of life’s most important skills. I seem to have forgotten that. Well, it’s time to listen to my own advice.

The book will be out there soon. I won’t let it get past you. And it’s important that I finish as soon as possible so I can get on with the rest of my new life.

So, for now, I’ll just roll with it.

(*) — Speaking of small publishers, Global Publishing Group, LLC — who released my first book — has gone out of the book publishing business. Chances are, that book will revert to being released by me via Kindle KDP as well. This didn’t exactly do wonders for my mental health.

(^) — I must apologize for being and remaining vague about the specifics of this injustice. Simply put, I’m not at liberty to go into detail at this time. One day, everything will come out and you’ll understand. But for now, you’ll just have to take my world for it.

(+) — If you or someone you love is struggling with mental illness, seek help immediately. Resources and hotlines are available everywhere. Do NOT go through this struggle alone. There’s always someone out there who can help!

#cirdecsongs

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Would you like to have your record reviewed? Contact me at cirdecsongs@gmail.com