I’m really enjoying my Second Guitar Renaissance. (For those who don’t know, I started playing again three years back after a 15-year “breather.” — Ed.) If my day is flowing nicely, it’s becoming almost inevitable for me to reach for one of my guitars or my bass. The callouses are forming again and I’m loving it!

Even though I’m having fun, I know almost for certain that I have no interest in starting or joining a band, outside of the occasional one-off jam/recording session with friends. Nah … playing along with records and videos or joining in at a party is more than sufficient, thank you very much.

To know me is to know how much I love concerts. Watching musicians take the stage to rip through their songs live and without a net is, for me, the best way to experience music. I don’t want to be in a band, but every now and then, I see a group live or on video doing its thing and I can’t help but think, “Man, it would be so much fun to be in that band!”

It’s rare, but it happens.

My pal Rick and I were chatting up David Bowie. I mentioned how great it would’ve been to be in Bowie’s 2003 Reality band. They were unbelievably talented and having so much fun ripping through their leader’s catalog. Sure enough, I expressed my desire to be onstage with them.

Just like that, a small floodgate opened.

I got to thinking about bands I would’ve enjoyed playing with. Not that my limited abilities make me even remotely worthy of sharing a stage with these supremely talented musicians. But let’s just say I could hang with them. These are, in all likelihood, the bands I wish would let me play with them.

KING CRIMSON (1998-2003). Initially, I was going to choose Crimson’s “Double Trio” band (‘94-‘97), who toured behind the album Thrak and their eighties classics. But honestly, I’d be a better fit in the “Double Duo” band that followed. The new music, particularly from The Power to Believe, bordered on metal. and ProjeKct X, an offshoot of The ConstruKction of Light, had a more youthful edge. Trey Gunn (Warr Guitar) and Pat Mastelotto (traps and buttons, as they called his percussion work) brought modern electronics and samples to the Robert Fripp and Adrian Belew guitar mix. Plus, they were great improvisers, which they did onstage frequently. I can’t help but reach for my guitar when I hear that aggressive cacophony. “I’m gonna find my way in there,” I declare every time, starting to improvise with them. It’s never not a good time.

PETER GABRIEL’S SECRET WORLD LIVE BAND (1994). If I’m being honest, there were times when I struggle a bit to hear the contributions of guitarist David Rhodes. But the songs were glorious and the band was having a ball. Peter seems like a great artist to work with. My hunch is he gives his band room to be themselves within the music’s original context. Sure, there are mandatory notes, but there seemes to be just enough freedom to make life onstage a joy. I think I would counter David’s electric parts with more acoustic-driven lines. And it would be great to share duties on songs like “Solsbury Hill.” Something tells me I would spend a lot of my onstage time smiling.

PRINCE’S SIGN O’ THE TIMES BAND (1987). This is the band that hooked me on His Purple Majesty’s music (thanks, Edward). My hunch is Prince was the most stringent of bandleaders (except on “Now’s the Time,” a Charlie Parker classic played by the band while Prince takes a break), but Lordy that band could groove. Clearly, Prince would be the lead guitarist. But I would be getting a Master class in rhythm playing. That’s something you can take with you wherever you go. The only downside is that I wouldn’t be playing “Endorphinemachine,” one of my favorite Prince tracks, which wouldn’t come out until seven years later. I’ve fantasized about playing the rhythm guitar for that song, then dropping my guitar and walking offstage. Why? Because that would be my peak as a musician! We would have to have a serious chat about my onstage costume. I’d be much happier in a suit, thank you. But, he’s the boss.

AIMEE MANN. I have often said I would work for Aimee for free, provided she sat down with me twice a week for 90-minute songwriting lessons. I stand by that. My onstage role would probably be the most lowkey of my choices, just playing guitar and singing the odd backing vocal. But that’s pretty much all I’d need. Coincidentally, I’m also in also learning songs written and performed by Aimee’s husband, Michael Penn. Perhaps a double bill where I never leave the stage? I think I would enjoy that.

DAVID BOWIE’S REALITY TOUR BAND (2003). WOW! That band positively smoked! And clearly, everyone onstage, particularly David, was having the time of their lives. They were blistering the classics and making the most of new material from the Reality and Heathen albums, which I adore. To share the stage with Eric Slick (guitar), Mike Garson (keyboards), and Gail Ann Dorsey (bass) would be a dream come true. There wouldn’t be much room for improvisation, but that’s okay. I, too, would be having the time of my life.

TOOL. My aggressive side would love to share the stage with these guys. No need for dance moves or personal pyrotechnics. The stage itself would do all that work for me. All I have to do is dig in and play. I’ve actually assembled a playlist of tunes I’d love to learn in order to share stage. The list is just over three hours long. That would be one helluva show! My callouses would at least double in size. No complaints here.

WE LOST THE SEA. The exception to my “no joining a band” choice would be to play some top-tier post-metal a la my current favorite band. I’m actually learning to play six of their tunes, which are quite lengthy workouts. The shortest song clocks in at around six minutes. The others come in at seven minutes or more. It’s quite the exercise in recall. Three of the tunes I’m learning are on bass (which I almost have cold) and three are on guitar. It would be an honor and a privilege to be able to share the stage and blast away on those tunes, even if I’d probably find myself crying midway through. Yes, the songs are quite emotional. But what good is music if it doesn’t move you? I actually chat with these guys now and then, and I’ve been sending them videos of my efforts for grades. The results have been quite positive. That gives me hope.

I’m sure there are at least a couple of other bands I would enjoy playing with, like Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band (another lesson in rhythm, power, and endurance) or Jimmy Herring’s Invisible Whip (where I would no doubt be required to improvise). Perhaps Miles Davis’s Star People ensemble (bluesy, funky, and groovy where changing things would also be essential), or trying to keep up with the musical pyrotechnics of Mike Keneally, but the others I’ve mentioned are on my top tier.

I hope they don’t mind that I play along from the stage I also call my living room. All they’re doing is making me a better musician. I’m forever grateful.

#cirdecsongs

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