I believe in the Muse. But — for the moment — the Muse doesn’t seem to believe in me.

I believe she (yes, my muse is female) likes to visit me from time to time to offer me a few bursts of intense creativity. The ideas flow like a river. On really good days, I can hardly keep up with everything being presented to me.

When my writing is going well, the words seem to flow over my head like a stock market ticker. Everything moves right to left, pausing long enough for me to capture everything I wanted to express in a near stream of consciousness. Then I can go back and do a little judicious editing if it’s needed. It’s a nice way to get things done.

I learned long ago to NEVER ignore the Muse. That idea you had in the middle of the night? Get up and write it down! Because if you ignore what the Muse has offered, that idea will be GONE when you wake up in the morning! Guaranteed. That late-night idea might not be the best one you’ve ever had when it’s exposed to the light of day, but at least you have a shot at turning that thought into something.

The Muse has been good to me as I’ve worked on my Bernie Worrell biography. Early in the project, the words flowed like a stock market ticker. All I had to do was see the words, and then write them down. It was easy. But over the past few months, I’ve been staring at the last quarter of the book I still need to write. The subject matter is there. The interviews were conducted. I have all the music. I have what I need to write.

Only nothing is happening.

The ticker is broken. The words seem to be coming from BOTH directions now, colliding in the middle to create a massive jumble. Nothing is making sense. This is no way to get things done. The Muse is apparently on holiday. The words have stopped flowing.

I’m stuck, and it’s maddening.

I called a musician friend and told him of my quandary. People are waiting, I said. I have projects backing up because I can’t get this book done. I’m in creative purgatory.*

He told me to write something — ANYTHING — every day. Even if it’s crap, just write. If I do that, I’ll find what I’m looking for. That’s part of what this particular essay is — an attempt to purge what’s in my head in order to make room for what I really need to happen. Is it working? Well, the jury is still out. To make matters worse, it seems as though the harder I push to make the words flow, the worse the blockage gets.

Also, he said, try meditating. Sit quietly and peacefully and just breathe. In and out. Clear your mind. The answers are out there.

So, I’ve sat. I’ve breathed. I’ve considered possibilities. And the solution has started to reveal itself. Slowly.

If I can’t write, I’ve thought, then I can edit.

Yes! I can read what I’ve already written and make adjustments. I can get back into the narrative flow by seeing what’s already there. And when all else fails, work on the discography. There are several hundred records to account for, after all.

Also, I’ve contacted my alpha reader, who normally comes by on Saturdays to read what I have written. He’s a big Bernie fan, so he’s able to offer insight into what a fan would want to see and read after picking up my book. We’ve both been rather busy with other things (the road trips and gigs have also been a bit of a book-writing distraction, albeit a necessary one), so there hasn’t been as much reading and critique as I would like. Now, he’s due to come by next weekend. Perhaps that’s another kick in the pants I need to get things rolling again.

This just might work!

I keep creating deadlines for myself, but the Muse has not yet completely engaged. So, I work on other things like reviews and interviews. The idea now is to stockpile enough material to allow me to release something two or three times a week until the end of the year. That way, I can focus all my energy on getting the book done.

I’m hoping that a public testimonial to my little problem will also be of help. Whatever it takes to get the thoughts flowing and the ticker moving again.

Hopefully, the Muse will sense my earnestness and make her way back to my office.

I’ll let you know how things go.

*It’s purgatory because I can still write other things like this. The problem manifests itself when I try to dig into the larger work. Go figure.

#cirdecsongs

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I’m currently at work on my new book The Wizard of WOO: The Life and Music of Bernie Worrell

Would you like to have your album reviewed? Please contact me at cirdecsongs@gmail.com